bisexualitywikiaorg-20200215-history
Forum:Confused About Sexuality
Hi, I'm a 13-year-old girl and I currently identify as bisexual. My name for now is 'Diana'. Basically, I've had some kind of attraction to two boys. During these 'attractions' I wanted physical contact and maybe kissing, but I wasn't even sure about that. I thought about sex, but I really preferred to think of it as some other girl having sex with those guys. I'm now attracted to a girl (let's call her 'Jessica'). I want physical contact and kissing, and I think about sex as actually me and her. I'm pretty darned sure that's a sexual and romantic attraction. I know for sure I'm at least homosexual (and probably homoromantic) because I find other girls attractive, too. I really don't know about feelings for transgender, androgynous, and agendered people. I can imagine a romantic relationship with any of them, but only a sexual relationship with a post-op MtF. Even today, I don't desire sex with a guy. I don't know if I'm biromantic, panromantic, heteroromantic, or just homoromantic on the romantic side or bisexual, pansexual, or just homosexual on the sexual side. Maybe I'm something else entirely! I'm looking for some sort of label because guys and girls flirt with me sometimes and I don't know what to tell them. I don't want to get their hopes up if I'm not attracted to their gender. If my romantic attraction and sexual attraction are different, how do I explain that? Please help! Hey there. My advice would be to stop worrying for a bit. First off, if someone is flirting with you, you don't actually need to explain your sexual orientation to them. If you're not interested in someone, tell them you're not interested. If you are interested, flirt back. Think about the person. Remember, when you date someone, you are only dating them, not their entire gender. Also, flirting is not always an expression of serious interest. Being nice to people, picking flowers, exchanging pickup lines, and everything else flirting entails are all fun things to do. I have several asexual friends who flirt with me all the time. Don't freak out. Also, it's okay to date someone and then later realize that you're not attracted to their gender. Sometimes it takes actually being with the person to realize what you do and don't want. Fantasy is highly unreliable. For example, I fantasize about being the life of the party all the time, but if I go to an actual party, I'll probably wind up in a corner reading comic books. How many trans people do you know (irl)? I had difficulty imagining myself with a trans person for a while. Then I switched schools, met a really cute trans boy, and the rest is history. Okay, we broke up after a month, but this was ninth grade. Which brings me to my next point: You have time. It is so okay to not know exactly who you are at age 13. I've been thinking about my sexual orientation for about three years (since I was 12) and I still haven't quite figured it out (I'm something along the lines of bisexual). It takes some people decades. You don't have to be precise just yet. Hope this helps. Gradient Arin (talk) 01:15, September 28, 2015 (UTC)